I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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