She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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