I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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