dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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