I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
