I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
