I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
