You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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