yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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