I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
