There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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