remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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