i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
