what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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