Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
