There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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