I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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