i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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