Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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