Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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