i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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