so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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