Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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