the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
