is your mom at the bar?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
