so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Alive.
So much puke
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
