OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
