1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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