Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
