i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
