i was born a porn star she said
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I want a musical about memes.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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