Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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