"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
