Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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