Say something about gay babies.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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