then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
