i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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