fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
