i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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