I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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