brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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