I'm eating all of the evidence.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
