Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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