You can't motorboat a personality
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
