let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
