Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
