I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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