...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I CAN MOONWALK!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
