and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
