Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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