I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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