i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
