Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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