The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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