She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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