you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
