You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
