Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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