Porn is love you can see.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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