12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
