We're like a lot better than the average bears
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
