Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
