but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
