i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize