sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
tell me about the fingering
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